Lemony Snicket’s Logic

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.                           

– Lemony Snicket

I think I’m allergic to compliments. For example, when I walk into a family lunch and some distant smarmy cousin comes up to me and says I have pretty eyelids, or something, I clam up.  I just can’t react to compliments. I don’t know if other people have this problem, but I certainly do. If someone passes by and tells me he or she finds my smile cheerful, all I can do is stammer out an awkward thank you, and turn around. Of all the things to be allergic to, it had to be this. How do I fix this? Please someone give me an appropriate way to reply to compliments, because all I can come up with is ‘Thank you”, “Oh, really? haha…” and “Oh, okay *weak smile*”.

My cat on the other hand, knows how to reply to praise. She simply stares, raises her tail, and walks off. The human left behind inevitable replies with something akin to “Aww, what an intelligent kitty! And so fuzzy wuzzy!” and proceeds to make certain unintelligible noises that are supposed to convey affection. My cat finds all this ridiculous and pays the compliment giver no attention. I wish humans were that easy.

I’m doomed.