Its Raining, Its Pouring…The Old Man Is Dead

It’s raining; it’s pouring.

The old man is snoring.

He went to bed and bumped his head,

And he couldn’t get up in the morning.

Umm, okay so I stumbled across this nursery rhyme yesterday and this is what I understood:

So, an old man was snoring in his bed while it was raining and pouring outside. He must have been deaf to sleep through a torrential thunderstorm, for starters. But that’s alright because with old age comes deafness. So far legit. Alright, so he went to bed and bumped his head? Was this before or after the snoring? Did he sleep walk, bump his head and resume snoring? This poem isn’t following a time cycle… Furthermore, if he bumped his head and couldn’t get up, that must mean he got a pretty bad concussion and fell asleep right after. In which case, he is dead now… but then why’s he snoring?

Okay, so basically this old man is deaf and obviously partially blind. And he lives alone, or someone would have heard his head bumping stunt. He banged his head, got a concussion and fell asleep in bed. But, by a medical miracle, he’s still alive and snoring? Seems like a pretty abysmal state of affairs to be in. In which case, why is this for children?!

Nursery rhymes are weird.