Bracelets Aren’t Made Of Blood (Warning: Might Be Triggering)

I’m genuinely disturbed. No matter what I’m doing online, instagram, facebook, twitter, or just reading the news, there’s at least one post that mentions this: Self Harm. I’m not going to pretend to understand what goes on in the minds of people who harm themselves. I was raised in a family of extremely strong individuals,…

I’m genuinely disturbed.

No matter what I’m doing online, instagram, facebook, twitter, or just reading the news, there’s at least one post that mentions this: Self Harm.

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I’m not going to pretend to understand what goes on in the minds of people who harm themselves. I was raised in a family of extremely strong individuals, and self mutilation to me was always a ridiculous concept. Not that I didn’t have my share of problems. I’ve lived through poverty, a ruined parental marriage, more than my share of drunk people, and molestation.

However, I don’t brush this off as the work of ‘some attention whore(s).’ A cry for attention, no matter how mild or severe, is a cry neverthless. Something goes missing, I believe. And that’s what the whole point is. I can’t understand this because I’m standing outside the looking glass, tentatively looking in. Maybe that’s what mental illness is. You believe something that other people don’t, and suddenly you’re the crazy person. But what is crazy?

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The fact is, a whole new generation has a whole new set of problems. Our Pandora’s Box holds more grief, hatred, anger and self deprecation than others. Self harm is becoming somewhat of a trend now, and I’m alarmed.

You think you’re fat? Cut your arms. You feel lonely? Slash ribbons on your legs. Boyfriend/Girlfriend left? Hack into your stomach. What happened to the good old healthy dieting, reaching out to people and just burning your ex’s stuff?

Listen to me. If you can read this, look at the hurt you’ve caused yourself and stop. You, you’re more precious than food, loneliness and a partner. You’re you, and you’re all you have. Love yourself, let other people love you. Get a pet, a friend or a cupcake.

Or I’m here too. I’m always here.

20 responses

  1. bilalsidiki Avatar
    bilalsidiki

    I have cousins who had done such acts and its so painful to see to see them but believe me when someone will ask that cousin of mine about it, they will very likely be clear about their intent on feeling better again. I have no idea how that works but it does, they have been diagnosed with extreme cases of anxiety and they would need an inhaler at night time.

    I really don’t know what goes on their mind but one thing that I experience is kind of self harm but not really, it would be like when I am really mad at some of my thoughts or my actions (that is very rare of a case – mostly its on my thoughts). I would just be like okay Nafs now I am going to pinch you super hard by doing exactly the things I wouldn’t normally do or like. Like eating that vegetable which i most certainly hate or sleeping in uncomfortable clothes (for sleeping i mean).

    Thank you for addressing these problems. 🙂

    Reply
  2. Mhall Avatar
    Mhall

    This is actually my friends arm. Lemme tell you, this freaked the hell out of us…

    Reply
    1. Nayab Tariq Avatar
      Nayab Tariq

      I’m so sorry to hear that! I hope your friend was able to get help and they’re okay now 😦

      Reply
  3. brambo Avatar
    brambo

    My girlfriend started cutting and i think it’s because of me. I’m really scared and don’t know what to do.

    Reply
    1. Nayab Tariq Avatar
      Nayab Tariq

      If she’s cutting, try to talk to her about it. It’s the first logical step. If you think it’s because of you, again, open up a discussion with her and ask. However, she needs to feel comfortable and safe enough to want to stop by herself. Forcing or guilting her into stopping won’t resolve anything. The best thing to do is talk and see where that goes.

      Reply
  4. Günsche Avatar
    Günsche

    I like blood and i like my scars.
    I’m not self harm, I’m cutting only for scars. (Verry artfully)

    p.s. I’m a german

    My name is HANS GÃœNSCHE, I’m from DEUTSCHLAND and I like Bratwurst

    Reply
    1. Nayab Tariq Avatar
      Nayab Tariq

      Well, I mean to each their own.
      I’ve never tried Bratwurst. Tell me what it is 🙂

      Reply
  5. White Pearl Avatar
    White Pearl

    Well as far as I assume, people who do harm to themselves don’t like doing it, obviously. If this society has increased the problems and pressure, it has also increased the mind diseases and depression stuff. We can’t understand in which mental state a person was when he gave so much pain to himself…. So lets just be supportive to the new generation instead of criticizing by thinking on the surface. Good write-up by the way !

    Reply
  6. anon Avatar
    anon

    Hi i know this is random but are these your own photos? Thanks x

    Reply
    1. Viva Violet Avatar
      Viva Violet

      Hi! I should have mentioned this. No these aren’t, these are all from Google.

      Reply
  7. samsuicide Avatar
    samsuicide

    I believe self-harm ain’t always about just bad stuff happening… It is a coping mechanism, not the greatest I know (I do it myself). But a coping mechanism none the less. Many other people turn to ways of coping and they find it in; alcohol, drugs even comfort eating. But without those coping mechanisms the problems they are experience will become too much and that is when suicide becomes a favorable option.

    I understand what you’re saying though about the new generation having a new set of problems. But I find this statement a little ignorant. It is not just the newer generations that are self harming and taking issues out on themselves, granted statistically it is much higher in teens and young adults than older people as older people tend to turn to alcoholism more. That being said and referring to my previous comment, self harm, not just cutting, but self harm is more common than you may think among all generations. Also I must point out that everyone is different and especially in the way they may deal with issues. For you if someone called you fat you may be able to shrug it off. But someone else may really get hurt by a comment like that. And I think that boils down to the medias fault, the media that might as well be saying fat people are ugly, this style is wrong – rather than covering it nice and neatly in a ‘fashion’ magazine. And I do think this is a major problem for the newer generations as they have to grow up with that around them, in which this will most likely stick with them till the day they die.

    In my eyes, I believe if people try to understand these issues enough to want to help and reach out, not to change the person but help them like who they are and help them find different more practical and less harmful ways of coping with issues, such as art or hobbies.

    With all that being said, still a good blog post! 🙂

    Reply
  8. gelidmind Avatar
    gelidmind

    Very touching. I am glad to see that you are able to express your troubles through writing. Many people go through things and feel like they have nobody to turn to. Sometimes all it takes is a little push. I am glad to see that you are here to help. You have a story and can make a difference is someone else’s life. Bless you!

    Reply
  9. FlutePlayer Avatar
    FlutePlayer

    Deterrence is inner.

    Reply
  10. Not Quite Alice Avatar
    Not Quite Alice

    I’ll be honest. I self harm. Sometimes I want to, yet I don’t. It’s a controlling feeling at times for me. I can take control of something and how I feel for once in my life. Other times, it’s been a release. I can’t express emotions or feel, and yet, this makes me feel.

    Reply
    1. Viva Violet Avatar
      Viva Violet

      You know, I actually get that. My sister started doing it about two years ago. She says she can’t cry otherwise, and it’s a way of expressing her pain for her. She gets awkward in social situations and somehow can’t deal with messy emotions. So she sees this as a way out too.
      I’m trying to get her to stop though. I hope i’m successful. It’s already gotten a lot better,.

      Reply
      1. Not Quite Alice Avatar
        Not Quite Alice

        After I was raped, I blocked my emotions, and I couldn’t feel at all. I didn’t want to, I was numb. Then I didn’t know how to make myself start feeling, then I couldn’t stop feeling. So then I cut them off again. Then I learned that if I started controlling how and when and how long, I felt better.

      2. Viva Violet Avatar
        Viva Violet

        That’s a horrible thing to go through. When I was a kid, I was molested by a relative..I have never gotten past it, and to this day I blame myself for a lot of things even though it wasn’t my fault. But yeah, people’s emotions don’t behave rationally.
        I understand the feeling numb part. I think somehow I’m still numb about it, and I feel out of control.
        I’m starting to understand what its like for my sister now.

      3. Not Quite Alice Avatar
        Not Quite Alice

        I’m glad you are. Rape and abuse, and I’m only now seeking help. Going through PTSD therapy helps. The feelings and itches to harm myself are not there as much. Helps. Doesn’t take it away, just lessens.

        When things get out of control and you feel like you cannot control it, it’s a way to take control and help yourself feel as if something about your life you are taking charge over.

        I’m sorry for everything that you have gone through as well. It’s the worst feeling. And I’m sure your sister is so happy you are there for her.

      4. Viva Violet Avatar
        Viva Violet

        I’m so glad you’re feeling more in control now.
        PTSD therapy sounds like a good option, I might just recommend it to my sister.
        Everyone just needs a lot of support during times like these, and a trillion hugs 🙂

      5. Not Quite Alice Avatar
        Not Quite Alice

        It’s slowly helping me, hopefully it will help her to. Best wishes!
        HUGS.

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The author

Nayab Malik is an award-winning Creative Strategist with an unrealistic reading goal and a novel that has yet to make it out of the rusty file cabinet that is her brain

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